The post in which I trust.

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When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,Your consolations delight my soul.
Psalms 94:19

  •  We saw our precious baby on Friday.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

  • A beautiful baby.
  • A baby who is measuring a week behind in terms of weight and development.
  • A baby who is loved beyond measure

  •  A baby who is already loved by his big brother (Little T pats my belly and says “Ba ba ba” and then kisses it. Melts. My. Heart)

Today we got a call from our Doctor.

I missed the first call, and called back only to be told that they made a “special” appointment for me on friday.

I asked if it was bad news.

The receptionist told me that it was nothing to worry about.

I wanted to call her bluff.

A mother knows when something is wrong.

Yet at the same time, I have a weird sense of peace in my heart. A God is with me, type of peace.

I did my best not to cry and stomp my feet, trying to get what I wanted.

I called HotBabyDaddy, told him that there was nothing to worry about. But that doctors don’t make appointments just to chitchat.

I finished making lunch for Little T and I.

The phone rang.

It was our Doctor. Himself. Not his receptionist. Not the booking lady. But our doctor.

He calmly asked me how my ultrasound went.

I told him aside from the baby measuring behind, I wasn’t too worried.

(The U/S tech told me that the baby was consistantly measuring a week behind. Not a big deal)

He then calmly told me if I knew what a cleft lip was.

My heart sank. But only for a moment.

You see, at the appointment I noticed something.

I saw that Bubsies beautiful perfect lips looked a little off.

I noticed that the U/S tech spent a great deal of time putting markings on my sweet babes face.

And more importantly, she (the U/S tech) told me that she needed to talk to the radiologist before we left.

I brushed it off.

Our Doctor told us that our precious, sweet baby has a cleft lip.

That’s why he wants us to come in on friday.

He told us that we will be refered to a specialist in the city.

That we will get more ultrasounds and see Bubsie more.

That Bubsie will have to have surgery.

I am not angry.

I will not ask “why has this happened to me”.

When baby has to go for surgery, I will worry.

But I will pray. And more importantely,

 I will trust that He knows what He is doing.

More information about cleft lips/palates can be found here:
http://ambrabuskirk.com/   (a blog about a little girl with a cleft lip)

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2 responses »

  1. I’m sorry you had to go through the unknowns after the first phone call and I’m so happy the doctor called you back right away so you didn’t have to sit and wonder too much. We’ll pray for your little baby and his surgery.

  2. thanks for sharing – your response is admirable, and i’ll be praying for your little one and the challenges that this will present. praising with you that our God really is in control.

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