Feeling a little

Standard

Sad.
I started this post last week when I was sick. It was going to be about what comforts a person when they are sick. I was going to finish it today but then I received some bad news.

My Mucca is dying.
My Mucca is my Mothers’ Father.
My Mucca is someone whom I love very much.

We are going up to see him in the hospital today and I am dreading it. I am not looking forward to see him like this.

The when I was nineteen I worked as a “health care aide” on the long term care unit on our hospital. It was the hardest jobs I have ever done. The part I dreaded was when a patient (who had become a friend) was dying. I know that they were going to a better place but to watch them get weaker and weaker by the hour was unbearable. To see their families mourn the loss was excruciating at times. And now the roles have been reversed.
I am the family by the bedside.
I am the family pleading with the doctor.
I am the one with the broken heart.

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