A little inspiration.

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This week has been my “organize, reno, redo” week.

So far I have completely cleaned our master bedroom, no easy task.

Not only that but we re-arranged it, and put Arlo’s crib in our room.

The reason for that is, Teag thinks it is a great idea to climb in it at night.

Thankfully everytime he has climbed in, I have had Arlo with me.

STILL it is not something I would like him to do, and since I want Baby to be sleeping in his crib it has become a wee bit cramped.

My other HUGE project for this week is to overhaul our laundry room.

Words to describe is are:

huge

gross

unfinished

dirty

dark

depressing.

You get the idea.

What I want is:

light

bright

clean

finished.

Maybe something like these?

Source: blog.light-innovations.com via Mike on Pinterest

I love the rock wall, and the lighting. I could definitely have this in my house!

Source: houzz.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

I love the idea of this laundry room, as like a mud room type thing.

Source: southernliving.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

I love the colour!!

Source: wallwritten.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

I definitely need to get this vinyl made for our laundry room!!

Source: Uploaded by user via Kaitlin on Pinterest

I’d be all over this one, if our master bedroom and laundry room weren’t on different floors and opposite sides of the house!

Source: Uploaded by user via Kaitlin on Pinterest

This will definitely be happening in some form or another!!

Now to get ‘er done!

I was one point off.

After I had Teag we had our well baby appointment with our nurse.
They make you do a quiz, I think it had 10 questions. maybe more.
Trying to see if you have postpartum depression.
I lied.
I answered the way I thought they wanted me to answer.

Everything is fine.
Life is great.
I’m adjusting well.

There was so much going on in our lives.

Having family live with us.

Having a baby.

The nurse checked the quiz.

I was one point off from having postpartum depression.

I laughed it off.

Silly quiz.

There is no way that I was depressed.

I had a happy husband.

An adorable baby.

 

In my heart I know that I was depressed.

Things didn’t feel right, Rich could tell.

I felt crazy in my own head.

Like I was in a fog.

 

It wasn’t until Teag was 6 months old that I started to get out of my funk.

I finally could see straight.

I felt like something clicked.

I felt like I could finally handle everything.

Being a wife.

A mother.

 

When I found out I was pregnant with Arlo, I was terrified.

Terrified that I would feel the same as I felt after having Teag.

 

I have yet to take that quiz again.

This time, I have changed a few things.

Healthier meals. More veggies.

vitamins. Last time I hardly took anything. This time I take vitamin C, D, flinstone chewables, calcium, and folic acid. I can definitely feel a difference when I take them.

Exercise. It’s not as often as I would like. Due to having two kids, my time is precious. When I can get a workout in, I am happy.

I feel healthy.

And for the most part, I feel happy.

 

 

What I would wear Wednesday.

What I would wear Wednesdays, on a date with my hubs, sans kids.

Cause right now all of our dates have a little child with us.

Anniversary outfit maybe?

Maybe this outfit for Valentines day?

Movie night?

Casual supper date?

Post Surgery.

While we were in the hospital I decided to write down what I was feeling at the time, so that I could remember it forever.

Here is what I wrote.

Jan 12, 2012

Today is Arlo’s surgery

—–*–*——*——-

We came into the city last night, stayed at a hotel instead of getting up at the butt crack of dawn.

We woke up at 5:30

I hate mornings.

Especially today.

 

We got to Children’s at 6.

      Registered. Got coffee and waited.

We  went to day surgery.

     Arlo screamed. He was so hungry. He hadn’t eaten since 11:30 last night

I made the decision to quit pumping. It was a hard agonizing decision. 

I am in the process of weaning. It’s so much harder to wean from pumping,

than it is to wean from nursing.

At 7:50 I handed Ari over to the surgeons nurse. He was sleeping. I kissed him and told him that I loved him.

Rich kissed him goodbye.

Then the nurse and my baby walked away.

I held in my tears. I knew that once I started, it would be hard to stop.

I would cry.

At 11:30 the surgeon came and talked to us.

He told us that Arlo had done splendid. That it had been an easy fix.

Now all we had to do was wait for Arlo to wake up.

We waited. And waited. And waited.

At 12:30 I went and asked the nurse what was going on.

She said we could go back to day surgery, and see what was going on.

We got there, and the unit clerk said they forgot to call us.

Lame.

He was upstairs in recovery and we could go up and see him.

 

He was so groggy.

High from the morphine.

Rich held him first.

Then it was my turn.

He didn’t look like himself.

Swollen and stitched up.

—*—-*—

We stayed in the hospital till Sunday.

It was a relief to go home.

Night time was hell.

The hospital didn’t send morphine home with us, mainly because he was doing so well at the hospital.

Tylenol and Advil didn’t seem to cut it.

Day time was better.

He didn’t like being put down, and he didn’t want to be with anyone but me.

On Wednesday we had our post op appointment, the surgeon cut the stiches (that were holding the gauze in) and gave him his nose stent.

We found out that we don’t have to go in till March 7th! I did a happy dance.

//wednesday cuddles//waiting to be called//first look post op//a great friend came and kept us calm//so sweet//cuddles with daddy\\

In the past few days Arlo has pretty much returned to normal. He is sleeping better, he is eating better and he has started to laugh and “talk” again.

I am so thankful for everyone that has been with us on this journey, be it praying, a quick note or a hug.

 

life.

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i feel like life is spinning out of control right now.

laundry. cleaning house. appointments. weddings.

while sitting in church today, i decided that things were going to change.

i am tired.

tired of being tired.

tired of the mess.

tired of the chaos.

tired of being unorganized

tired of feeling frumpy.

it is time for a change.

this week i am changing things.

i am deep cleaning the house.

i will be exercising daily.

i will be drinking more water. (my lips are so chapped and dry. stinkin dry weather ruining everything)

i will be eating gluten-free.

i will forgive.

Update

We are home!

We are recovering.

Arlo is doing well, he is tired and cranky but healing well.

stressed.

i have never been so stressed in my life.

i feel like all i can do is cry.

i feel myself snapping at Rich.

i give the same speech each time i am asked the same questions.

i have it memorized by heart.

“his surgery is in january. it is three procedures. gum line, lip adhesion, and ear tubes. the ear tubes are because his ears are filled with fluid.

he can’t hear. no it’s not a guess. we had the hearing tests done. yes i long for him to hear. i am grieving that i he can’t. his palate surgery isn’t until the fall.”

i buried feelings deep in my heart.

the feelings of fear.

of dread.

of tears. it’s a feeling i can’t put into words.

i feel like i am on the brink of tears.

i want to hold my baby and rock him in my arms.

i don’t want to hand him over to the nurses.

yet i want his lip to be healed.

i am a swirling vortex of overtired protective mama.

this is where i want to be.

holding my babies.

Our day.

//Breakfast //Teag feeding himself // cuddles with mommy // Teag angry because he didn’t want a nap // the perfect little lips // silly Teags // happy Arlo // chubby fingers // frosty walk // i love my chariot // Teag feeding himself // playing before bathtime // potty time // feeding time with Arlo //

 

 

What does your day look like?

Off the top of my head.

My mother in law got me this mug, it’s not the biggest mug, and it isn’t the prettiest china. But it is by far my favourite mug.

—–

I think I need to change my sleeping habits, I have never been a morning person.

I like sleep. My babies like sleep.

Because of Rich’s work schedule, late evening/night time is the only time we have together.

That being said, it is impossible to exercise during the day while everyone is home, and since in the evening I like to relax (get Tupperware orders ready, sew, tweet, blog) I’ve decided that mornings are going to be exercise times.

Just not stupid early.

—–

My favourite  items!

Source: blog.stylizimo.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

Source: thestewartestate.blogspot.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

Source: basementsewing.blogspot.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

Source: operationbeautiful.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

—–
I have started to quit pumping. I’ve gone from pumping 6+ times a day, to pumping one time a day. Soon it will be every other day, then soon it will be further and further apart.
I am hoping that by Arlo’s surgery I will be completely done pumping.

—–
I am completely OBSESSED with Castle. Definitely one of my top 5 favourite shows.

—–

Love
Kait

Filed under Family and tagged life, pinterest, random | 2 Comments

At the point.

I’m getting to the point in my life, where I just don’t care.

Call me crazy, call me self-centered, call me what ever you want. just not late for dinner…

I came to a conclusion today, after what felt like forever, I decided

that I just didn’t care.

It didn’t pertain to me. It didn’t affect my life in any way, shape or form.

All of my life, I have cared about what other people think. About what other people do.

Why.

I have decided it no longer matters.

What matters is my family.

My husband.

My sons.

Myself.

I don’t want to worry myself sick about what others think, about what others are doing.

Yes, I care about other people, I just don’t want to worry about the nitty gritty of it all.

Know what I mean?

That being said, my new years resolution one of many is to not care about what others think.

What are your resolutions?